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January 30, 2005
So Bad it's Worst
This weekend, I caught a movie on HBO IFC that far surpassed 100 Women (a.k.a. Girl Fever) (note: despite the title, it's not porn- this was shown on HBO or Showtime in the middle of last June- anyone else catch it?) as the worst film my retinas have ever been hit with. It was Lost and Delirious, starring a very young Piper Perabo and a 15 year old Mischa Barton, both of whom I'll go ahead and assume would rather forget about this movie and have the negatives burnt up in some sort of ritualistic filmography purge. Anyway. Lost and Delirious is the exact movie you would get if you 1) set out to make something that combined all of the most mawkish and saccharine elements of Dead Poets Society (or any other boarding school-located film where young people are angsting all over the place) with the cautionary tale of 'homosexuality in an extremely homophobic environment' presented in Boys Don't Cry, and 2) have ingested lots of organic hallucinogens during your formative years.
Piper Perabo plays a mentally unstable (but gifted!) student who's in love with her roommate (not Mischa, but Jessica Pare), and who, after a forced separation from her lover, starts to identify strongly with a falcon she's been tending to for the past few weeks (which she refers to as 'the raptor'), loud poetry and emoting ensues, and she kills herself. There are, of course, a fair number of unbridled 'I hate my Mom/Dad/myself' teenage jeremiads being flung around, all of which just serve to make the movie that much more exhausting and predictable.
However, best line from this film, delivered by Ms. Perabo herself (and, perversely enough, in reference to herself), which I would encourage anyone to drop into conversation (especially during a date): "Never touch a raptor!" Make sure you're also wearing a fencing outfit when you say this, or else it won't make sense.
Posted by Kevin at January 30, 2005 10:36 PM
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