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May 04, 2005
On the Suckage of the Robo-Raptors
As uneasy as I am about the fortunes of the Red Sox resting on random homers by Mirabelli, I'm heartened by the headline on the NYT sports page today: "The Yankees Go From Bad to Abominable." But my sprits sink again when I think about how I can't in good conscience hope to make any money by betting on Steinbrenner's horse in the Kentucky Derby on Saturday.
On a different tack, on my way to the train this morining, I was, inexplicably to some perhaps, filled with white-hot rage at the raggedy cordouroy-blazered hipster screw wearing an old Blue Jays trucker hat. Because I like to make snap-judgments about people (which, by the way, I'm right to do), I assumed that he was wearing it for style points, rather than allegiance to Toronto. This offended me greatly as I really hate the Jays this year for being so goddam good. People should be more mindful of the symbols with which they adorn themselves.
On the other hand though, it really drove home how ridiculous Toronto's new uniforms are. Instead of accepting the fact that they blew it in picking a wussy bird to be their totem animal spirit, they've tried to make the Jay look more imposing by restyling it like some distant future Transformers iteration where Starscream takes the form of a gay azure falcon. Wrong call.
Okay, I'll get back to you guys after I take a few deep breaths.
Posted by matt at May 4, 2005 09:52 AM
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Comments
The third to last sentence in that post was priceless.
Posted by: Kevin at May 4, 2005 12:21 PM
Hey now! Toronto may suck, but there is nothing wussy about a blue jay (the bird, of course). These are kick-ass birds. Watch out. They'll be after you.
Posted by: John at May 8, 2005 08:24 PM
Alas, I am chastened.
So which bird do you think is tougher, then, a blue jay or an oriole?
Posted by: matt at May 9, 2005 10:55 AM
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