August 30, 2005
That one mollusk dude who tried to eat the Nautilus
So the Squid and the Whale, Noah Baumbach's first film in a while (not counting his co-writing credit on "Life Aquatic"), has a trailer out, and it looks solid. It's at least maybe more explicitly funny than "Life Aquatic", and Linney + the two kids look like they'll be very good. Daniels though...just given the way he delivers his lines and the overall tone the movie seems to be shooting for, I'd think that Bill Murray, who was the original choice to play the dad character could have done it so much better. But hey, I'm saying this based on only a minute and a half long sampling of the movie, so maybe Daniels really pulls through and gives the performance of his life (which I think we can all agree his acting chops reached their peak in "Dumb and Dumber"). Go check out the trailer and see what's up- there's good music in it, at least.
Posted by Kevin at 01:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 23, 2005
Lights, camera, awesome.
(CAUTION: this might be the most fun thing ever, so readers are advised to sit back from their screens a little lest they get knocked over by the force of my glee.)
Soft for Digging was an ambitious, oddly-paced, but ultimately rewarding film which certainly opened up new avenues for genuine artistic expression in horror--a genre not often thought to pay much attention to aesthetic nuance.
Since SfD came out in 2001, that film's writer/director, JT Petty has been awfully busy, penning scripts for the Splinter Cell games as well as a film adaptation of same. He also worked on the script for this year's Batman Begins, and has a horror/western called The Burrowers in production.
But what else is he doing?
Well, I won't give details, since I haven't asked whether or not I could, but I will say that he'll be murdering one of my roommates, and filming it in my bathroom! Come on now, what horror fan wouldn't love the chance to have his mildew-laden shower immortalized in a genre pic, occupied by his roommate's corpse, and covered in fake blood?
There's really no end to how cool this is.
(Theme week post TK in the PM)
Posted by matt at 09:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 15, 2005
Life imitates art imitating life
Hey gang, I'm just poking my head out of my vacation fog (it's going very well, by the way) on account of I saw the weirdest thing over at AICN, and it seemed to bear repeating. I'll start from the beginning:
For those of you who aren't familiar with HBO's Entourage, it's a half-hour comedy produced by Mark Wahlberg based on his own experiences as a young actor. The Swingers-esque story is of four dudes who are recent Queens-to-LA emigres, one of whom is on his way to Hollywood megastar status.
So, this season's arc centers on Vincent (the Wahlberg proxy) trying to play Aquaman in James Cameron's Aquaman pic. Here's the weird part: as a direct result of this, Cameron is now actually thinking of doing Aquaman, and he's talking to Mark Wahlberg to play the lead.
This is what folklorists call pseudo-ostention. But it's what I call baaad juju--especially since if all of this were true, Cameron would be racing Marvel's long-discussed Sub-Mariner flick to theaters.
Also, when the new Bonny [sic]/Sweeney EP came out, the guy who played Vince was next to me at the Kim's counter. He's shorter than you'd think, which is awesome.
Posted by matt at 07:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 30, 2005
Review: George A. Romero's Land of the Dead
There are moments that define individuals, and there are moments that define generations. I can't say yet whether George A. Romero's Land of the Dead is definitive in either of those ways, but I can say that it is unquestionably the high watermark of the zombie film genre.
Given the fact that twenty years have elapsed between Day of the Dead and LotD's premiere, and understanding that through most of the intervening years, a fourth installment to Romero's Dead series looked unlikely if not impossible, it would be difficult to overstate how high the expecations of the faithful were upon the current film's release. That said, I can honestly say that I wasn't even slightly disappointed by the experience. It really is safe to believe the hype.
The conceptual heart of the film is adaptation. Just as the surviving humans have adapted to life after the advent of the zombie apocalypse, so too do the zombies begin to adapt to their post-human existence. It's an intriguing idea that comes up in unexpected ways throughout the entire film.
The acting is a tremendous step up from previous entries in the series (which were all fanstastic, save for some over-the-top supporting characters in Dawn and Day). John Leguizamo, who I normally hate, is note perfect as the pseudo-terrorist anti-hero, Cholo. Even Dennis Hopper keeps the scene chewing to a bare minimum as the corrupt founder of one outpost of post-zombie civilzation. Asia Argento is flawless in her role as a hot chick.
Some will disagree, but I think top acting honors should go to Eugene Clark, whose "Big Daddy" is the zombie who leads the hordes in their attack on the city, and who teaches the others how to use tools and weapons, representing the next step in the creatures' development. There are a couple of moments when Big Daddy even euthenizes some of his compatriots who are on their way to suffering a fate worse than their fate worse than death. His performance is entirely sympathetic, and almost single-handedly conveys the substance of Romero's central allegory of disenfranchisement.
I confess to having had doubts when early drafts of the script centered on an armed and armored anti-zombie tank (well in advance of the appearance of a similar idea in the recent Dawn of the Dead remake). The vehicle, called "Dead Reckoning" (which was the film's original working title), seemed a little too beyond thunderdome for a genre film. In execution, however, Romero did a fantastic job of motivating the use of the vehicle as a natural way of adapting to life after the global zombie disaster.
Lastly, I would be entirely remiss if I didn't say how spectacular the gore was. Both the zombie kills, and the feeding scenes were nothing short of brilliant. I don't want to give anything away (although you really should check out the extra gory trailer I linked to a while ago), but it suffices to say that gorehounds will not be disappointed by either the quantity or quality of grue.
Also, genre fans should keep their eyes peeled for cameos by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead) who don't appear to have fared very well after their own undead encounters across the pond, as well as a familiar face from the original Dawn.
I really can't say enough great things about this film. I couldn't find anything not to love. All I can do is thank Mr. Romero for fully delivering on the promise of two decades, and for presenting a true masterpiece.
Posted by matt at 09:18 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 10, 2005
Dead Things What Eat Living Things
Oh man. You just don't know how psyched I am for Land of the Dead. I mean, I was really psyched before, but now that there's a brand new extra gory trailer up on the inter-web, I'm all aflutter. Two weeks from today, baby, then it's undead gravy.
Posted by matt at 10:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 28, 2005
First-Hand Horror
All of this webby stuff is really bringing out my inner (and outer) nerd, so I'm just going to run with it.
Just as horror properties seem to be hot in Hollywood right now (for good or ill), the genre is hunkering down in the video game market as well. This, as you know, is awesome. Resident Evil 4 came out this year, and everybody's calling it one of the best games ever (not having a Gamecube, I wouldn't know). A bunch of other genre games have come out too, but they've all sucked pretty hard. Horror gamers should take heart though, as there are a handfull of can't-miss titles coming out this year, such as:
Evil Dead: Regeneration (THQ) -- VG adaptations of the Evil Dead films have been notoriously bad. 2003's Evil Dead: A Fistfull of Boomstick was okay, despite the repetitive gameplay, because the developers did a decent job of capturing the films' attitude. Cranky Pants, who are helming Regeneration, are hoping to keep the same kind of flair while making a game that's actually also fun to play. From what we know so far, the game will take place between the first and second films, with Ash having been placed in a mental hospital for having brutally murdered his friends. Also, for some reason, he will also have a wisecracking deadite midget for a sidekick. Look for the game to hit stores this summer.
Jaws (Majesco) -- Yeah, it's a Jaws game where you get to be the shark. You get to gorge on the little fishies, smaller sharks, whales, and delicious humans. It's being developed by Appaloosa studios, which is notable since they were the folks that made the Ecco the Dolphin games, which were surprisingly fun. They've defintiely demonstrated their chops with underwater gameplay mechanics. This one is out in August.
This one won't be out until next year, but...
City of the Dead (Hip Games) -- A zombie game created by George Romero! Gah! From what we've seen, the game is very much in keeping with the spirit of his Dead tetralogy, with a small handfull of human survivors fighting the innumerable zombie hordes. And just like the films, this game promises to be super-bleak. The point is simply to survive through the night. You know from the outset that you're not going to stem the tide of the zombie apocalypse. The multiplayer game even features an infection meter which, when full, will make players part of the undead legion and allow them to nosh on the brains of their erstwhile partners. Dee-lightful! I can't freaking wait. So far, the title has been announced for the current generation of consoles, but since it's not coming out until next spring, I can't help but wonder if we won't see a version for the PS3 and Xenon which should be out for the holidays this year.
Since we're on the subject of horror movies and video games, I should mention that some casting has been done for the Silent Hill movie that's should be in production soon. So far, Radha Mitchell is on board as the lead, and everything else seems to be coming along nicely. God, I hope they don't screw this up.
Also, there's a Land of the Dead trailer!
Posted by matt at 10:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 25, 2005
Dead and Breakfast: A Screaming Success
Did you do like I said and go see Dead & Breakfast this weekend? I sure hope so, 'cause it was pretty great. Anyone who enjoyed Shaun of the Dead will surely flip for D&B. I got extra lucky since the Two Boots Pioneer, which screened the film, showed The Evil Dead right after, so I was treated to a pretty stellar undead double-feature. But you all know about ED, so let me tell you about Dead & Breakfast.
Honestly, there isn't too much that's new in the film. The plot is essentially a hodgepodge of familiar zombie horror tropes (young city folks in the country are beset by hordes of the undead). Of course, the fact that an Evil Dead poster can be seen in the background in a few scenes, shows that the homage was completely intentional.
There were a couple of fun twists thrown in, however. For instance, instead of the normal lumbering, sub-mental kind of zombie, some of D&B's bad guys were actually pretty sharp--especially their leader, ably portrayed by Oz Perkins, who had a nice "Evil Ash" from Army of Darkness kind of thing going on. Also, the film's take on zombie lore was interesting, with the focus on Eastern (specifically Thai Buddhist) traditions instead of the usual Sumerian rituals or nuclear waste. These elements were more than sufficient to lend the film a hint of freshness.
Throughout the film, there are plenty of head-scratching moments, where improbable events take place with no attempt to explain just why they might be happening. The viewer can't help but wonder how one of the characters knows how to build shotguns out of lead pipes, or why the zombies do an impromptu "Thriller"-esque dance number. But the sheer randomness of these events makes it more likely that they are part of an inside joke between the filmmakers and the audience. As a result, it totally works.
Altogether, the whole affair was a considerable success. The jokes were funny, the gore was where it needed to be, and the overwhelmingly tongue-in-cheekiness of it, made the film seem like one big conspiratorial wink. By all means, see this film if it's within your powers to do so.
Posted by matt at 10:09 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 22, 2005
Horror Parody=Inevitable Pun
After a long long wait, Dead and Breakfast, the zombie horror/comedy, has a small handful of showings stateside. Lucky for me, one of the places the film is being shown is the Two Boots Pioneer Theater, right here in New York (this weekend only!).
The film is about a group of young(ish) folks who stop in a rural Bed & Breakfast for the night, and are besieged (perhaps predictably) by a bunch of redneck zombies. Also, it's funny. It stars David Carradine, Erik Palladino (Dr. Malluci from way back on ER), Portia de Rossi, Oz Perkins (son of Anthony "Norman Bates" Perkins), among others. Plus, if you look closely at the cast list, you'll notice that the role of 'Orange Cap' (one of the film's many living-impaired individuals) is played by Devon Gummersal who you might recall as Brian Krakow from TV's My So-Called Life. I think that's pretty awesome.
Lest anyone think this is a Shaun of the Dead rip, it's worth mentioning that two films were made roughly concurrently. SotD just got a big leg up on funding and distro, so let's try to judge D&B on it's own merits, shall we?
In related news, Land of the Dead, the final installment of George Romero's zombie tetralogy, got a huge push forward on it's release date. Originally slated to open around Halloween, Land will now open on June 24th (!). That's just a week ahead of Undead and month before The Devil's Rejects hits theaters. That's effing fantastic. I, for one, am going to be a very busy horror geek. I also just realized that I am never going to have sex again.
Posted by matt at 12:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 15, 2005
Get Your Film On
This Sunday, Magnetic Field is going to initiate their new film series. And hot damn, what a way to get things going. Check this out:
Independent filmmaker Sara Driver screens her 1986 work, *Sleepwalk*, a feature detailing the strange, surreal events that occur with increasing intensity as Nicole (Suzanne Fletcher) translates an antique Chinese manuscript. Featuring one of Steve Buscemi's first film roles, actor Ann Magnuson, and cinematogrophy by director Jim Jarmusch, Sleepwalk has been described as "subtle and magical," "lyrical" with the "illogic sense of a dream," and stands as a great -- and underrecognized -- example of New York City indie film. (Runtime: 78 minutes)Hott! I'll be there, and I'll be very tired. What about you?
Posted by matt at 09:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 09, 2005
One Thing is Scary, One Thing is Loud
A couple of quickies:
Quickie #1: A quick persual of the Lion's Gate Horror site shows that the distributor has finally set a date for the American release of Undead, last year's Aussie horror monolith. Stateside audiences can see the funny-talkin' zombie action starting July 1st.
This is just one more in a slew of genre releases from Lion's Gate (Saw, Open Water, The Grudge, High Tension, holy fuck!), which is quickly establishing itself as the new face of horror in the American film market--much like New Line was back in the day.
Quickie #2: The other thing is that The Brought Low will be demolishing the stage at CBGB on Saturday night, or at least destroy whatever's left of the place after Richmond, VA's RPG is done with it. We've seen The Brought Low about half a dozen times now, and they've still never managed to not blow us away (literally and figuratively) with their white trash gospel virtuosity. Still, if you're planning on going, you should consider getting earplugs surgically implanted beforehand. Our first ever time doing live sound professionally was for a TBL/RPG show, and they rolled up to the small club with full Marshall stacks. We could've maybe quit right then.
Posted by matt at 12:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 04, 2005
Start Your Fanboy/girl Engines Running
Like many of you, we've been closely following the story about the likely remake of The Evil Dead, the Raimi/Tapert masterpiece that's easily in the greenideas top 10 films of ever (apologies to The Catbirdseat). However, we've refrained from writing about it here, since we haven't yet figured out whether to be excited or mortified at the prospect of some non-Raimi person mucking with such an unqualified classic of the genre.
While the jury's still out on the remake, which will purportedly cover the first two Evil Dead films, and has Chan Wook Park on board to direct, there's a new piece of news about which we can't help but be completely giddy. Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay: in comments made to Bloody Disgusting, Sam Raimi has said, in no uncertain terms, that he will make Evil Dead 4. Sam will direct it, he and brother Ted Raimi will write it, and the one and only Bruce Campbell will reprise his role as the chainsaw-armed, quip-mongering human chin, Ash.
We're getting a little emotional here. Seriously, we're having some pretty kooky feelings.
Also, on an only slightly related note, we want to send some very fond birthday wishes to George Romero, who turns 65 today. Happy birthday, George! We can't wait for Land of the Dead.
(Credit for finding the story goes to AICN and Dread Central)
Posted by matt at 11:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 30, 2005
So Bad it's Worst
This weekend, I caught a movie on HBO IFC that far surpassed 100 Women (a.k.a. Girl Fever) (note: despite the title, it's not porn- this was shown on HBO or Showtime in the middle of last June- anyone else catch it?) as the worst film my retinas have ever been hit with. It was Lost and Delirious, starring a very young Piper Perabo and a 15 year old Mischa Barton, both of whom I'll go ahead and assume would rather forget about this movie and have the negatives burnt up in some sort of ritualistic filmography purge. Anyway. Lost and Delirious is the exact movie you would get if you 1) set out to make something that combined all of the most mawkish and saccharine elements of Dead Poets Society (or any other boarding school-located film where young people are angsting all over the place) with the cautionary tale of 'homosexuality in an extremely homophobic environment' presented in Boys Don't Cry, and 2) have ingested lots of organic hallucinogens during your formative years.
Piper Perabo plays a mentally unstable (but gifted!) student who's in love with her roommate (not Mischa, but Jessica Pare), and who, after a forced separation from her lover, starts to identify strongly with a falcon she's been tending to for the past few weeks (which she refers to as 'the raptor'), loud poetry and emoting ensues, and she kills herself. There are, of course, a fair number of unbridled 'I hate my Mom/Dad/myself' teenage jeremiads being flung around, all of which just serve to make the movie that much more exhausting and predictable.
However, best line from this film, delivered by Ms. Perabo herself (and, perversely enough, in reference to herself), which I would encourage anyone to drop into conversation (especially during a date): "Never touch a raptor!" Make sure you're also wearing a fencing outfit when you say this, or else it won't make sense.
Posted by Kevin at 10:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 05, 2005
Movies About Dead Things
Things are moving painfully slowly but surely on the film adaptation of the Silent Hill series of video games (that we sometimes find too scary to play... seriously). Roger Avary, the film's screenwriter, has made some enthusiastic comments (link via Dread Central) regarding the casting for the project. In particular, he seems to be pushing pretty hard for Julia Sandberg Hansson (who appears [with some digital alterations] above), one particularly zealous Silent Hill fan, to have at least a small part.
Rumors abound as to which (if any) of the games the film will be based on, but we can't help but think that Ms. Hansson would be a great Heather (from SH3).
But wait, there's more! We've stolen some other movie news that seems worth passing on. Peter Jackson, king of the fanboys, is planning on making an adaptiation of The Lovely Bones the follow up to his King Kong remake, which is currently in production.
As popular as Bones was, it's no surprise that it's going to get the Hollywood treatment, but it's nice to know that it'll be in such good hands. The book was absolutely gorgeous (and the bummer to end all bummers), but it's all too easy to imagine it suffering a grisly Touched by an Angel-style reworking had it been entrusted to a lesser talent. So, you know, yay!
Posted by matt at 01:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 18, 2004
Trust in the Ways of Raimi
Okay. So there's good news and bad news.
First, the bad news: We're pretty sure that a while ago we mentioned the possibility that the sequel to the surprisingly good Freddy vs. Jason might include Ash of Evil Dead fame. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash, as the fanboy wet dream was to be called, would've been the first new film in the Evil Dead series since 1993's Army of Darkness. However, as our deft use of the past subjunctive should indicate, the project is not to be. Sam Raimi (dir. Spider-Man, prod. The Grudge), Ash's creator, has put paid to the tempest of rumor and speculation surrounding the film. In a recent interview with The Horror Channel, Raimi said, by way of explanation:
When they first mentioned it I just didn’t think that they belonged in the same world, you know? But then I heard that Sean Cunningham was going to direct it and I spoke to him briefly. I really admire his work very much and they had high hopes for it, but it was a situation where I think if I was able to maintain control over the character, creative control over it, I think it would have been okay, but I didn’t want to be in a position where I was countering the wishes of a director. So I just felt that I didn’t want to be in that situation because I really respect this director, so I thought it was best for everybody if we didn’t do it. Although I’m sure it would have been good that was just really the situation.
So, bummer.
Now for the good news: Things are looking up for the possiblity of a proper fourth Evil Dead film once Raimi gets done with Spider-Man 3. Of course, that could've been said at may points since, you know, 1994, so celebration may be premature. All we can say right now is "pleaseohpleaseohplease."
Regardless of what may happen in the future, we ought to be perfectly content to live in the now, since The Grudge comes out on Friday and Saw is out next week. If you're not tickled, you should get that way.
Posted by matt at 12:20 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 29, 2004
Season of the Witch
It's almost October, and it's an exciting/terrifying time to be a fan of horror movies. With the success of films like The Ring, 28 Days Later, and the recent Dawn of the Dead remake, studios are viewing horror titles as good investments, which is fucking great news for us. There are a few really promising titles that have just come out or are on the horizon.
Shaun of the Dead has already picked up a lot of buzz, and people who've seen it tend to pretty much flip for it. If we don't get to see it this weekend, we're going to be very upset.
The American remake of Ju-On: The Grudge looks pretty promising. Of course, we've got our initial misgivings over such an obvious attempt to cash in on Ring fever (Come on, another japanese horror remake where dead girls with stringy black hair make with the evil? Really?) and to do so with Sarah Michelle Geller, no less. But we're more than willing to put those on hold, considering that the director of the remake is Takashi Shimizu, who also directed the original. Better yet, the whole affair was conducted under the auspices of Ghost House, the brand new production company helmed by none other than Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert (the legends, I say legends, behind the Evil Dead films. Not a bad pedigree.
Lastly, and we might be going out on a limb here, but the buzz on Saw (sorry, but that's not the last time you'll hear that one) has been pretty stellar. There's a lot of talk about it being the next Seven. We don't know about all that, but there's also been a lot of talk about it being absolutely terrifying. The trailer looks pretty sweet. At the very least, it looks like there are a lot of good, gory death scenes, so that's a plus.
We've got a history of being badly burned by getting too psyched about horror films that almost inevitably turn out to suck extra hard, but we've also got a history of always getting psyched about the next round.
So yeah, exciting and terrifying.
Posted by matt at 11:56 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 09, 2004
Wet from Birth but not for the Faint
Jonathan Glazer, who made the jump from music video director (did two of the best Radiohead videos ever, 'Karma Police' and 'Street Spirit') to feature-length movie director, a la David Fincher, Spike Jonze, Michel Gondry, et al., is currently wrapping up production on the follow-up to the awesomely British and violent Sexy Beast. The new movie is called Birth, and it's primarily about how Nicole Kidman falls in love with a ten year-old boy (this boy being the reincarnation of her dead husband) and then proceeds to both bathe with and kiss said boy. TO DEATH. That last part is speculation on our part. Obviously the studio execs are saying things like 'this is a publicity nightmare', and 'I need more coke to watch this', or 'it's like every daydream I had in grade school'. Birth is supposedly being released on November 5th, and you can hit your rods and cones with some hot trailer action over at the aforeposted link. Looks promising.
Posted by matt at 08:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 07, 2004
I (Heart) Everything
I Heart Huckabees is generating so much buzz in the key of F. For Fantastic. Haha. No, really. The 'existential comedy' is going to blow up in theaters like so much unattended popcorn: hot, delicious, and full of starch (satisfying). In select cities (meaning New York and L.A.) on October 1st. We're looking forward to seeing Jason Schwartzman in his first post-Rushmore role that does not require him to molest a hair-doll. Also, Naomi Watts, who is, dare we say it, electric. I Heart Huckabees is marketing itself through the Interweb by generating an online presence for the constituent corporate entities in the film, like Huckabees, Jaffe and Jaffe (Tomlin and Hoffman, the existential detectives), and Open Spaces (check the poetry corner on this one, precious).
We should also mention that the trailer, which you can view at the initial link, features a snippet of Jon Brion pop song genius at the end, and the rumor is that he scored the entire film, a la Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The song is called "Knock Yourself Out".
Posted by matt at 11:45 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 27, 2004
We're Gonna Need a Bigger Console
If you like sharks as much as we do (we=Matt, obvs), and by some astronomical coincidence you also happen to like video games, you'll positively love this. Majesco (who brought you Bloodrayne) has acquired the rights to develop a new game based on the movie, Jaws.
The player gets to play as the shark, gobbling up fish and people alike while plodding through some kind of wishy-washy eco-friendly storyline--something about oil. Be that as it may, we're not complaining about the weak-ass story so much as we are psyched about getting to eat some folks.
While we're here, it only seems fair to point out how shamelessy all of the reporting so far on this game has been pulled verbatim from a Majesco press release, as can be gleaned from a simple Google search. Jesus, people. You could at least paraphrase that shit.
Posted by matt at 01:24 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 26, 2004
Murray eats calamari, sodomizes Shamu
So maybe one movie involving sea life is good enough for Bill Murray, who appears to have dropped out of Noah Baumbach's production, The Squid and the Whale. Jeff Daniels is now slated to appear in the movie, which is about a Brooklyn family and their lit-centric dysfunctionality. This is a horrible idea. Daniels?! Can he really pull off the kind of insouciant misery that Murray does so well? Doubtful. Daniels will fumble through this one, relying on his neck fat and bland, hammy face to pull him through. Huge mistake. Of course, it could be the case, as some people have said, that Murray is turning into a caricature of himself, playing the same role over (Rushmore), and over (Royal T's), and over again (Lost in Translation). And now with Life Aquatic looking pretty much like Herman Blume On A Boat, maybe he's trying to get away from the understated, deadpan humor that has brought him such success. Huh?
Speaking of the Life Aquatic, go check out that trailer. Swamp leeches, rabbit ears, red hats, New Order's 'Ceremony', and David Bowie's 'Starman' all figure prominently. It's so good, it hurts.
Posted by matt at 12:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 08, 2004
When You Notice the Stripes
Why, gentle reader, are you wasting your time looking at this website when your precious leisure time would be better spent watching Garden State? Dear sweet Jeebus, that movie is phenomenal. For one thing, getting turned on to The Shins by Natalie Portman would fulfill just about every last fantasy we can conjure in our twisted little minds. For another, Zach Braff blew us the hell away with his directorial chops. For yet another... forget it. Just go see the film right now.
Posted by matt at 11:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 23, 2004
A Banner Week for the Undead
God damn, there's been a lot of zombie-related awesomeness in the last couple of weeks. It's almost too much... almost.
First, there's a brand new episode of Xombified. If you're new to the series, it's the story of an intelligent zombie who protects a little girl from a horde of the traditional, not-so-intelligent, brain-hungry zombies. Also, there's dinosaurs... zombie dinosaurs.
Anyway, even if you're not all about zombies, it's pretty good flash animation. But that doesn't get to the bottom of why you don't like zombies. What's wrong with you? What did zombies ever do to you?
Next up, Anchor Bay has announced the features for their brand new 4-disc edition of Romero'sDawn of the Dead. Included in this monolitic collection are three seperate cuts of the film, including the European version which was edited by Dario Argento. Argento's version has more splatter and, more importantly, more soundtrack work by Goblin! Rock. Rock so hard.
Also, there are three separate commentaries and, what might be the best part, a guided tour of the Monroeville Mall by none other than Ken Foree himself.
While we're talking about Dawn of the Dead, we'd be remiss if we didn't say a word or two about how great IDW's comic book adaptation is. Not only is the art and writing great, but there are a few points where the writers put new spins on some of the best-loved scenes from the film. As many times as we've seen that movie, it's nothing short of miraculous that somebody can make us see it through fresh eyes.
Are you still with us? That's good, because we've saved the best for last. Maybe it was the success of the the Dawn remake, or maybe the time just finally came. Whatever the reason, George Romero has finally got the money and studio support to make the final chapter of his Dead quadralogy. For a while, the working title of the film was Dead Reckoning, but the title that will be on the shooting script is Land of the Dead. Like all of the sequels, Land will maintain the continuity of the previous films. As such, by the time movie starts, the world will have already been pretty much overrun by zombies. The story will focus on the ways the survivors have, well, survived alongside the zombies. Also, there will be a tank thingy. Personally, we're not too jazzed about the tank thingy, but we'll just have to trust Romero until there's reason to do otherwise.
Posted by matt at 11:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 21, 2004
An Open Letter to Kirsten Dunst
Ms. Dunst,
As full-time, professional geeks, we're used to seeing Hollywood types run roughshod over our favorite superhero properties. It's a fact of life, and we've more or less come to grips with it. Even so, we just can't seem to get our heads around what on Earth would posess you to say terrible, hurtful things like this (which come from here):
The next one will be it. I'm only contracted to 3 and don't see myself signing for a 4th or a 5th," says Dunst, emphatically. Asked if she would love to see her Mary Jane character killed off in Spider-Man 3, Dunst laughs. "It would actually be really interesting if SPIDER-MAN died. Why doesn't the superhero ever die? I think if Mary Jane was alone, pregnant and he died, she could give birth to a spider baby and carry on the series with another young boy or something like that. I doubt Tobey Maguire would come back for a 4th or a 5th either.
We realize that you've already been blasted by just about every fanboy dork on the internet, but as we here at greenideas are also fanboy dorks, we'd be remiss if we didn't join in the chorus. Don't get us wrong, we love your nipples as much as the next guy, but there is a limit to the redemptive powers of a nice pair of sweater puppets (no, really. there is).
Truth be told, we can't really come up with the right words to communicate the depths of our annoyance about this matter. As such, we'll leave it with a few words from the French Philosopher/Mathematician Rene Descartes, who said, in his Discourse on Method, "Kirsten Dunst, you go to Hell! You go to Hell and you die!"
Luv,
greenideas
Posted by matt at 10:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 21, 2004
The Decline and Fall of Ben Stiller
Jeepers Creepers! Would somebody please tell Ben Stiller to take a medium to large break from making movies?! Tell him he can sit on his hands if he has to.
This piece from yesterday's NYT appears to be a laudatory summation of his deluge of recent roles in pretty much every third movie that comes out. To us, it seems more like a litany in times of massive overexposure. It's only June, and he's already been in "Along Came Polly", "Starsky & Hutch", and now "Dodgeball". Despite not having seen any of these movies, we still feel within our rights to point out that they all suck extra hard.
It wouldn't be so atrocious if he wasn't so goddam funny. The later episodes of the "Ben Stiller Show" were nothing short of brilliant, and they totally paved the way for "Mr. Show". When "Zoolander" came out, even though it was a little disappointing, Stiller's first starring role in a blockbuster comedy should've been a clarion call for a funny new Hollywood. But then remember how that didn't happen?
Okay, we're done venting. Our point is just that somebody really ought to do something about Ben Stiller before he does any more films we'll all regret.
Posted by matt at 11:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 28, 2004
Truth in Advertising
Where does the time go? It seems Gigli has reached the stage in its life-cycle where, after crawling out of the ground for its theatrical release, and molting a crinkly brown husk for the DVD, it is a fully-formed movie. Now the film is ready for premium cable, where it will be shown so frequently that it will make a constant chirping din that entomologists film critics call "The Song of Gigli." Soon, the film will die, and its dried corpse will fall to basic cable and network until the sequel drops, and the brood continues.
Phew. That was harder than it looks. It probably wasn't worth the payoff, but it had to be done so we could get to the meaty stuff. Now then...
Gigli has inexplicably survived long enough to make its way to Starz. The marketing team at said network, saddled with the seemingly insurmountable task of actually having to sell that movie to viewers, decided to play to the film's strengths. The idea was to hype the opportunity to see the movie that was more universally reviled than any other in recent memory.
It's kind of genius, really. Judging from box office figures, the odds are pretty good that you didn't see it, right? And aren't you even a little curious?
Fortunately, greenideas doesn't have cable and real estate on our Netflix queue is too precious to use on Bennifer's swan song, so we'll be spared. But those Starz folks really do make a convincing case.
For more information on the life cycle of Magicicada, go here.
What's perhaps even more interesting, there's actually a good review of Gigli.
Posted by matt at 10:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 26, 2004
Putting the "Fun" in "Fundamentalism"
Whether you like to pass them out to spread the word about God's hatred of gays and Jews, or you just like to get high (you know, on Christ) and laugh at them, everybody loves Chick Tracts. But if you're anything like greenideas, you've probably read all of those little Truth-filled booklets more times than you can count, and want to see what the Word according to Chick looks like on the small screen. Well now you can!! "The Light of the World" is the new film by Jack Chick, and it looks awesome. Chick promises "The Bible's account of the crucifixion, not Hollywood's." If you thought "The Passion" was too lenient on those Christ-killers, this is the direct-market video (or DVD) for you.
Man, we can't wait till our copy comes. We're going to have all of our friends over for chocolate-dipped Host and we'll make Sangria from the blood of Christ while we bask in the warming glow of His love (as told by his most persuasive pastor, Jack Chick).
Plus, as you can see in the picture to the left, Chick's scholarly work on The Good Book has revealed that Angels do indeed have lightsabers. Now how much would you pay?
Yes, it's true that you can't spell "fundamentalism" without "fun," but you also need "mental."
Posted by matt at 03:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 04, 2004
Brad Pitt's Filthy Habits
Okay, so we already knew that Brad Pitt was a dirty boy, right? Now we know that, on top of making soap out of discarded fat and carrying Gwyneth Paltrow's head around in a box (isn't it funny how life imitates art?), he's a dirty, filthy smoker. He says that he kicked the habit to make 'Troy', but couldn't hold out once shooting was done. Oh, the shame.
Saturday marked 6 weeks of smoke-free greenideas, so that's just one of the ways in which we are better than Brad Pitt. So far, we've got the quitting smoking thing, and the fact that we can almost definitely school him in Trivial Pursuit. Oh, and we're much, much more attractive. And if Jennifer Aniston is reading, kissing us is not like kissing an ashtray.
By falling off the wagon, Pitt in once again has something in common with Britney. Losers.
Posted by matt at 02:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 30, 2004
Cinephiles Unite in TriBeCa
The TriBeCa Film Festival starts tomorrow. They'll be showing an awful lot of great movies, but we thought we'd weigh in with some of our picks.
Becket - Richard Burton and Peter O'Toole kick it old school as King Henry II and Thomas Becket, in this fully restored version of the 1964 adaption of Jean Anouilh's masterpiece. If you're into nuanced explorations of the conflict between piety and fealty, then this is your film! Come on, give us five.
5/1 Noon, 5/8 Noon @ Pace
Choking Hazard - College co-eds are beset by zombies in the woods somewhere. When has that not made for a great movie? Quiet, you.
5/7 10:00, 5/8 Midnight @ UA Theater
Coffee & Cigarettes - It's one of those movies that's entirely made up of oddly interconnected vignettes. Except this one's cool, 'cause it's by Jim Jarmusch, and it's got Bill Murray, Meg & Jack White, Rza, and Gza.
5/5 9:00, 5/8 9:15 @ Stuyvesant H.S.
Let's Rock Again - This film follows Joe Strummer on his last tour with the Mescaleros, shortly before his death. It doesn't seem to us like much more needs to be said than "It's a movie about Joe Strummer."
5/7 9:45, 5/8 11:15 @ UA Theater
The Origins of AIDS - After seeing all of these heavy, arty films, take a breather with this breezy look at the disease that will kill 68 Million people over the next 20 years. Seriously, if you don't know much about the intrigue surrounding the initial discovery of HIV, you might be suprised how fascinating (and infuriating) it is.
5/2 6:30, 5/4 3:30, 5/5 3:00 @ UA Theater
Satan's Little Helper - A young boy thinks he's living inside his favorite video game, but he's really helping his town's serial killer make his appointed rounds. Funny and gory, we're all over that bidness.
5/6 9:00, 5/7 11:45 @ UA Theater
Terkel in Trouble - Denmark's first CGI feature, has small children, suicide, and mysterious authority figures. Plus it's a comedy. What's not to like? Now if only we could make some sort of joke about Denmark. Um... I bet Kierkegaard would like this movie... heh heh... [cough]
5/6 10:15, 5/7 Midnight @ UA Theater
There are probably tons more films that we should be writing about here, but we're all doped up on Allegra, so we'll leave it up to the intrepid reader to figure out what else is good. Now get out there and see some movies!
Posted by matt at 11:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 28, 2004
Why Can't NPR Have Pictures?
SNL's uber-hottie Tina Fey is on today's Fresh Air to plug her new movie, Mean Girls. So, does this mean the movie's actually good? We remember being underwhelmed by the trailer, but we are talking about Tina Fey and Amy Pohler here. Plus, Tina Fey plays a calculus teacher, which is unequivocally hot.
Posted by matt at 03:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 23, 2004
Craigslist: The Movie
At SXSW this month, filmmaker Michael Ferris Gibson premiered a new film based on internet phenomenon, craigslist. The film follows the stories of several people who posted on the internet bulletin board on Aug 4, 2003.
If you were worried that a movie about craigslist might not include a drag Ethel Merman, fear not.
"Craigslist Gets Its Name in Lights" (Fortune)
Posted by matt at 01:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 13, 2004
Finally, J-Lo Gets the Kind of Tribute She Deserves
Yesterday, J-Lo was officially inducted into the ranks of the dramatically mediocre: she taped her episode of Inside the Actor's Studio.
We've reached a tough decision about our responsibilities as bloggers. Clearly this is a noteworthy event in the popular culture, but how should we mark its occurrence?
On the one hand, we realize that making fun of James Lipton is played out. On the other hand, we're going to do it anyway. Seriously, what kinds of questions could that world-class sycophant have asked Jenny from the block?
Ms. Lopez, how did you prepare for your virtuosic turn in 'Gigli'?
Please, J to the L, could you grace us with a few anecdotes that might provide us with a glimpse of the ecstasy you must have felt while working alongside Matthew McConaughey?
Would you please stand up for a second? The jar which contains the last atrophied shred of my dignity seems to have gotten wedged under your legendary caboose.
God, we need a nap.
Posted by matt at 02:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 08, 2004
Oh, The Unmitigated Awesomeness
Seasoned action filmmaker, John Woo, is planning on bringing the popular video game, Metroid, to the big screen.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Metroid series, the original game was one of the first few titles offered for the original Nintendo Entertainment System. It pretty much set the standard for side-scrolling platform shooters with its ingeneous mix of action and puzzle elements. Since then, there have been Metroid games for each of Nintendo's various platforms (from the original NES to the Gamecube). They have all been great.
We realize that, with this post, we've hit a new fanboy low, but we're sure that the gentle reader could have seen seen this coming.
Now that we think about it, the movie probably won't be that great, and we really don't normally like space action films (or much of any sci-fi, really). Still, Metroid is great, so well go see it if it comes out.
"John Woo exploring 'Metroid' film" (Xinhua Net)
Posted by matt at 12:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 29, 2004
Review: Dawn of the Dead
We here at greenideas are huge fans of zombie movies. At least that's what we've been saying for a long time now. We have to add that qualifier since we haven't been a huge fan of any particular zombie movie in a long, long time. Sure there's the original Romero trilogy (better said, the first three parts of the as yet unfinished quadraology), Fulci's "Zombie," Peter Jackson's waaay pre-LOTR splatterfest, "Dead Alive," and, obviously, the "Evil Dead" films, which often get lumped into the zombie genre. These are all great films ("28 Days Later" might count, but the ending was really lame [as were the alternate ones on the DVD], so it's not really in the pantheon). It's because of movies like these that we can say that we're fans of zombie movies. We've had to take it on faith that, at some point, somebody would make another good one. In light of all of that, you can imagine that we were pretty nervous when it came time to go see the remake of "Dawn of the Dead." There was a lot riding on it, after all.
Not to leave the gentle reader in suspense any longer, we can say that the new "Dawn" met, and in most cases exceeded, all of our expectations. It was a great zombie movie, and a really good movie besides. We don't want to say too much about it, lest we give anything away, but here's what you need to know. Something is making the dead come back. The rules are, you get bitten, you die, then you come back and kill. This is happening all over the world, and it's an open question whether there's any place left on the planet to go. A few desperate souls hole themselves up in a mall to regroup and try to figure out a way to fend off the growing undead hordes.
Most of the parts were well-acted. Sarah Polley, Mekhi Phifer, and Ving Rhames are all really good. And the characters are generally pretty believeable, save for the obligatory "don't go in there! what are you, stupid?!" kinds of scenes. As in any horror film, however, some of the characters lack nuance, but this is as it should be. You really have to have the guy who's just an asshole, and can always be relied on to do the worst possible thing in a given situation. That's just a given, and we can't think of any good reason to break with such traditions.
As we mentioned the other day, there is one break from traditional zombie lore that might be a tad more controversial. Namely, the zombies in this movie run really fast. It makes sense, though, since the reanimation happens as soon as the decedent checks out, so there's no time at all for the body to decay, or for rigor mortis to set in. So, does it work? Yes. Oh god, yes. It adds so much to the genre that, even one zombie might be plenty to kill you tout suite, whereas it used to take a whole mess of them to overwhelm their victims. One zombie used to be a joke, as evidenced by the slapstick ways in which so many zombies in the original "Dawn" met their second deaths. This is certainly not the case anymore. The zombies of the new "Dawn" will be no one's comic relief. It just works. It's so much scarier this way. It does bring up an interesting question of whether we could even get scared of such a slow-moving monster these days. The modern zombie might be as much of a reflection of the zeitgeist as cell phones and "American Idol."
My, but we've gone on about this, haven't we? At any rate, the film is great--an instant classic of the genre. It has all of the gore you could want, some more than serviceable performances by both the living and the dead, and some moments of genuine emotional poignancy.
The only caveat we would add would be that this film is a remake of Romero's "Dawn" in name only. There are a few gems that survived from the original, but not many. Just don't expect the original, and you won't be disappointed.
So please, go see it. It's so very worth your time and money. Oh, and buy the Espers record.
Posted by matt at 02:10 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 26, 2004
In Which the Zombies Start to Run Really Fast
An unlikely Slate piece addresses the break with Zombie-movie tradition that is the new "Dawn of the Dead" remake. This reimagining of George Romero's 1979 classic has the zombies running really fast, thereby abandoning the old convention which had it that zombies are lumbering, clunky corpses (like that layabout in the above picture, from the orginal "Dawn") who only pose a threat when they are great enough in number to overwhelm a hapless victim.
We haven't seen the film yet (but we're going this weekend, by gum), so we can't really express an opinion on this yet. Nonetheless, we've never been too shy about shooting our mouths off out of ignorance, so let's just go with that. We think it's really cool. Nobody's saying that the newly spry living dead can't hunt in large groups like the zombies of yore. In fact, isn't that even scarier? A whole mob of fast-moving dead, sprinting en masse to get at those tasty brains of yours?
For now, we'll leave it at that, but we'll probably put up our first-ever movie review this weekend or early next week, after we help the zombies beat the shroud off of Jesus again this weekend.
For anyone else heading to the theater this weekend, brush up on your history at the Homepage of the Dead, and check out the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency (FVZA) for some scholarly work on zombie physiology and the history of zombie plagues.
Posted by matt at 02:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 24, 2004
Jesus Against the Zombies
The Risen Lord is duking it out with the Walking Dead--for box office receipts, that is. The funny thing is that Jesus, or rather "The Passion," was unseated from the Box Office #1 slot by "Dawn of the Dead."
Not that this is huge news, but we wanted to point out how blatantly MTV's headline for this story, "Zombies Drive Jesus From Top Of Box Office," cribbed from the Reuters article, "Zombies Push Jesus from Top of North American Box Office." Don't worry, we wouldn't be so catty as to point out how Reuters also has a much better grasp on the proper use of capital letters in a headline. Oops!
We do think it's good news that "Dawn" is doing so well. Maybe this'll finally scare up (we know, sorry) some funding for "Dead Reckoning," Romero's planned finale to the "Living Dead" quadralogy.
Posted by matt at 11:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 12, 2004
Hell Is Being Married to Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson's wife is going to Hell. At least, that's what Mel says. His contention is that, even though she's all about the Jeebus and everything, she's still hellbound due to her unfortunate membership in that shady clique known as the Episcopal church. So, at death, when they part, he'll get to kick around in eternal bliss, while she's being poked with hot pointy things. To his credit, he still thinks that it's "not fair" that she'll suffer eternal torment in the lake of fire for her heretical beliefs that the bread doesn't actually turn into the body of Christ and that Henry VIII should've been able to divorce the wives he didn't have the heart to murder. We feel especially sorry for her since she'll have to spend eternity down there with all those shifty Jews who put her Jeebus up on the cross in the first place.
Maybe she'll get lucky and "The Passion" will do so well during its opening weekend the God will award Gibson a "+1" on his invite into His Kingdom.
We respect Gibson's right to his (insane) beliefs, but wouldn't you think that he'd be a little more tight-lipped on the record? There's no such thing as bad press, we suppose.
"Mel on hell: Even the missus may miss out on salvation" (Arizona Republic)
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