September 15, 2005
Google's gnarly tendrils
Uh oh, Google has laid the smack down on Technorati.
At this rate, I'm almost worried that Google might intend to launch a new Matt Henry service to take over the nascent Matt Henry market. Maybe you'd go to matthenry.google.com, and some pale-faced, bespectacled twenty-something would tell you about music, baseball, and bond yields. I just don't know how I could compete with that.
Posted by matt at 02:14 PM | TrackBack
July 28, 2005
In all seriousness, cartoon animals really are funny.
No, really. I was watching Race for your Life, Charlie Brown on hotel cable last night, and I was thinking about all of the really funny ink & paint (or Wacom tablet & pixel) animals that make life in general a little less annoying.
(Speaking of RfyL,CB, did anyone else ever notice that Peppermint Patty's raft had a flag with a red woman sign, whatever you call the circle on top of a cross, with a fist in the middle?)
Basically, all of this is just a pretext for me to link to a couple of Achewood strips, since the story that started Wednesday is really funny. Also, speaking as I was of Charlie Brown earlier, I should say that I've had this strip in my head for the last week ("Here, put these shoes on and have legs like mine"). Of course, that wasn't the first time ol' Ray Smuckles meddled in the world of the funny papers, there was a whole series of such forays which started here!.
Also, while I've got you here, I should mention that the next installment of Strong Bad E-Mail is available on DVD. Of course a lot of it is stuff you can see for free on the website, but there's also a ton of new stuff, and it's fun to watch it on a real tv, anyway, so it's a worthwhile investment.
Posted by matt at 02:36 PM | TrackBack
July 24, 2005
Press, meet the pods
Tim Russert just dropped a 100 Megaton Awesome bomb: Meet the Press is now available as a podcast! This is definitely the best news I've heard all week. Granted, the week is only eleven and a half hours old, but I care more about Meet the Press than I do about Lance Armstrong's seventh consecutive Tour de France--although, man is that guy good at riding a bicycle, or what?
Posted by matt at 11:29 AM | TrackBack
March 08, 2005
If You Can't Say Anything Nice...
I can't tell whether or not Nothing Nice to Say is actually up and running again, or if this is yet another false start for sometime webcomic-artist (and oft-time whiner) Mitch Clem's presence on the interweb. NN2S, which may or may not be the web's first-ever punk rock comic strip, has come in and out of existence a couple of times now, usually to little fanfare, but to no small amount of grousing from Clem about how annoyed he is with his readers who chide him for his staggering inconsistency.
At any rate, it looks like Clem is indeed drawing strips (for the time being, anyway), so those of you who enjoy good punk rock, or at least hate bad punk rock, should head on over to NN2S to partake of some healthy Blink 182 bashing. Besides, Clem hates emo as much as you do, and there's always something to be said for that whole "the enemy of my enemy" thing.
Posted by matt at 10:14 AM | TrackBack
March 01, 2005
(Homestar) Running with the Wolves
Granted, it took exactly no time at all for last night's snow to get really gross. Nonetheless, today is a freakin' sweet day to be in New York City. Here's why:
Bonnie 'Prince' Billy and Matt Sweeney are doing a one-day whirlwind tour of the city's record stores to promote their Superwolf album and to gear up for their proper US tour. Here's the itinerary:
1:00 - Sound Fix (110 Bedford Ave, Wmsburg)
3:00 - Kim's Mediaopolis (2906 B'way)
5:00 - Bulit by Wendy (7 Centre Market Place)
7:00 - Mondo Kim's (6 St. Mark's Place)
9:00 - Other Music (15 E. 4th St.)
Of course, if you're like us, you're not going to be able to make all of these shows, because you'll be taking a break at around 6PM to see none other than The Brothers Chaps, creators of Homestarrunner.com at NYU's Shorin Performance Center, in the Kimmel Building's 8th floor. It's $3 if you go to NYU and $4 if you don't.
Posted by matt at 10:09 AM | TrackBack
February 23, 2005
What, Now You've Got Blogdar? (Updated)
Official Pronouncement: This blogging thing has officially gotten out of hand. Last night, I was standing outside of Hi-Fi on Avenue A with a friend, when some guy came up to us and the following exchange began (told in glorious paraphrase):
Guy: Hey, are you guys bloggers?
Me: Why do you ask?
Guy: I'm meeting some people here for some bloggy thing.
Me: Um, I do have a blog, but I'm not who you're supposed to be meeting.
Guy: Oh, sorry. You guys just have that look.
Now, the friend I was with thought this was especially weird since this wasn't the first time somebody thought she was a blogger (For the record, she isn't, but she does write things that end up on the internet. I'm not sure how recalcitrant those data are for dude's theory.). However, for me this was the first time somebody could tell "just by looking" that I have a blog. The question that obviously presents itself is: what is it about me that makes me look like a blogger? Is it my pasty liquid-crystal-tanned complexion? Maybe the receding hairline? My stylish yet affordable footwear?
Anyway, if greenideas suddenly disappears in the next little while, it's because we freaked out over being readily identifiable (on sight!) with a "cultural" "movement" and torched the blog to collect the insurance money.
Update: I've been alerted that I neglected to mention my friend's "utter disbelief and hyena laughter" at the exchange. It has now, of course, been mentioned. Also, it was pointed out to me that Lindayism was inside, so hopefully that was who our boy was supposed to be meeting. Otherwise Hi-Fi last night was just some kind of randomly occurring blogging nexus, which is kind of a terrifying prospect.
Posted by matt at 09:39 AM | TrackBack
February 17, 2005
Laugh Some. A Lot, Even.
Webcomic aficionados can now breathe a collective sigh of relief. Teenage billionaire psychopath and Wigu creator, Jeff Rowland, has unleashed his for-reals post-Wigu project on an unsuspecting internet. Magical Adventures in Space kinda sorta picks up where Wigu left off, and follows the adventures of Topato, the poisonous space potato, and Sheriff Pony.
This is Good News. See, in the interim between the end of Wigu and the start of MAiS, Jeff R tried out The Television Network Channel, which was supposed to feature a different serialized "show" every week. It was funny enough, and we were happy to see him finally put his heretofore print-only characters, American Platypus and Goth Dachsund, to some good 'net use, but it would've been a genuine shame to let Topato & Pony die along with the Wigu franchise. So, you know, bully.
Rowland still pushes new frontiers of awesomeness with his diary comic, Overcompensating.
Posted by matt at 10:16 AM | TrackBack
February 14, 2005
Red-Headed Stepchildren Unite!
In today's NYT, there was an article detailing the impact that a handful of bloggers have had on conventional media, crediting (if that's the word) certain webby types with prompting the ousters of Dan Rather, et al, from CBS, as well as CNN's chief news executive. We've already seen the opening salvos of Old Media's onslaught against the Bloggers' Revolution (which, incidentally, is the first revolution to be conducted entirely by people in their underwear), so this is just further sabre-rattling on the part of credentialed media-types.
For our part, we've definitely tried to contribute to carving out the muckraking niche that the blogosphere increasingly inhabits. By constantly reporting on the great records that Greg Weeks is making, we've managed to break the scandal that the print media are dubbing "awesomegate." That should take him down a peg.
Posted by matt at 12:09 PM | TrackBack
November 17, 2004
Hi Guys!
We just wanted to extend a personal welcome to everyone who got to this page by entering the search term "fucking bitch" into their search engines of choice. We're so very proud to be the number one result on Google for that particular query. If you try "bitch fucking," then we're #8 with a bullet, but tomorrow is another day.
Posted by matt at 06:06 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
November 10, 2004
Everybody to the Limit!
Dude, you people out there in the real world are so psyched to have all of this funny coming at you this week. First, we had that brand new Rowland webcomic to split your sides, and now we're witnsessing a huge development in net-related funny that will ensure a surplus of hilarity for many generations to come:
greenideas favorite professional weirdos and the creators of The Homestar Runner, the Brothers Chaps, are now selling a 3-DVD set containing the first 100 Strong Bad E-mails!
For those of you who don't know what this H*R business is all about, do yourself a tremendous favor and head over to the site and devour all of the content tout suite.
So, come on fhqwhgads, don't be the last kid on your block to get a copy!
Posted by matt at 11:53 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
November 08, 2004
Announcing Funny Comics on the Inter-Net
Hoo-ray!Webcomic superstar Jeff R, of Wigu fame, has started a brand new journal comic called Overcompensating. It tells the story of a webcomic artist from Oklahoma who does things that are funny.
Posted by matt at 02:20 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
September 23, 2004
...And You Know Now that we Suck
Oh wow. Half of greenideas is stuck in board meetings all day like a bitch, but this news was too big and sort of horrible not to break. The new ...And You Will Know Us by The Trail of Dead album, Worlds Apart, despite the fact that it isn't released until January 25th, has leaked to Slsk, and is now making the rounds. And it's a huge disappointment, honestly. It's a fucking emo-pop record, straight-up. Remember how good Source Tags and Codes was, and how promising that song "Crowning of a Heart" from the last EP sounded? Well you should dash all of your hopes for this record on a sharp rock, because it's dreadful. We'd post an mp3 on Molars if we didn't think that would result in immediate litigation via the black-magic voodoo employed by Interscope's lawyers. Some people probably couldn't care less about this album, but our expectations were high. Conrad and co. have been hitting the Colombian marching powder a little too hard, it seems, because this record sounds phoned-in.
Yancey, who coincidentally has the same alma mater as the greenideas folks, gives the album a once-over, in a more articulate and considered manner.
Posted by matt at 12:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 17, 2004
Fridays are fun for everyone except God
Okay, so this was one of the freakiest and most disturbing things we've ever seen on Interstate 64 outside of Richmond VA, and, whoa boy, we've seen a lot: there is a billboard, about yea (50 feet) high, and it pictures a tannish, smiling man, with this caption, "Ex-Gays prove that change is possible". Not even kidding here- when we saw it for the first time, we thought maybe all the ambient light pollution, or possibly our burgeoning cataracts were responsible for a mis-reading, but no, repeated and soul-draining commutes have confirmed that this billboard is the scribbledygook property of one PFOX.ORG, which is the interweb name of the Parents and Friends of ExGays and Gays. Please go read the website, because its willful insistence that people 'choose to be gay' is almost, if it weren't so very misguided and wrong, precious. So apparently there's now a sort of Bizarro-world version of the practically venerable PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), and tensions are sure to mount between the two groups, which in turn means this conflict can only be solved one way: dance fight.
No, but seriously, PFOX is run by some patently nut-headed kooks, obvs. They should footnote the state motto, like so: Virginia is for Lovers (Disclaimer: Offer applies solely to straight, god-fearing lovers who have sex with their sub-thoracic portions only partially exposed). Oh the South, you and your crazy antics.
Posted by matt at 08:00 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 15, 2004
Ardor Music
The Labor Camp Orchestra might not be in possession of, um, the most marketable name ever, but they definitely make some interesting music. There are well over 175 mp3s of their work posted on the website, and if you're any kind of fan of experimental music (like we are), then you'll do well to stroll interwebbily on by their site and get to downloading. Hard.
The guy responsible for the LCO is from Minneapolis College of Art and Design, which since it's in Minneapolis is pretty much automatically great. Thanks to JW for the link.
Posted by matt at 08:01 AM | TrackBack
September 03, 2004
Strictly Bush League
McSweeney's used to host the funniest NFL commentary available online, written weekly during the season by Jeff Johnson. Looks like it won't be happening this time around, as McSwy's has relegated the NFL picks to their 'additional material' dungeon, which is where they banish their sundry other curiosities. Jeff runs a blog now, called Fitted Sweats, where he may or may not be performing a similar service for the 2004 football season. What follows is a (copy-pasted infringement) selection from the 2001 season, and is possibly the most hilarious entry that Jeff penned in his 5 years of ruthless absurdity. You can trawl through all five seasons on Mcswy's if this piques your interest.
Ways to get frustration off your chest if your team is not in the playoffs.
1.
Walk into a convenience store with your sweatpants on and bristle about having to wear a "monkey suit" to a wedding that night, then mop your brow and demand to see all the fancy colognes they carry. If they hesitate to answer you for even one second, say, "Sorry I'm not as pretty as you, Fuck Apple. Sheesh." Once you make your purchase, clap your hands loudly at the front door like you're getting dust off of them and say "Good bye and Good night." Roll your eyes. Then go sit in your car for eleven minutes, walk back in and ask if they've got a free toilet a member of the tax-paying public could use. Then say, "Maybe you call it a throne, Weisenheimer? The can? That ring a bell? Get me to it, ASAP." Then bounce up and down on your toes. That ought to make you feel a little better about the year Cleveland had.
2.
Call up a sports radio show and complain about how all you ever hear about is "Barry this and Barry that." When they ask what you're referring to, ask if they feel like getting sued "big time." Then demand to speak to the station manager. When they hang up, drive to the station immediately. Wear a three-piece suit. The door will most likely be glass, so pound on it till it really rattles. Someone with a pained look on his face will answer the door. Throw 'em a curveball, and claim that you are there to help 'em celebrate a birthday. When asked whose, yell "Vicki's, you fucking deadbeat." Sneer. Take the guy to Shoney's. Pull out a six-pack of Miller Lite when the waitress turns her back and wink at your new pal. Say, "This is the firewater you crave, isn't it? Now gimme that goddamn AA token." Then fidget and add, "Vicki must be running late, whaddaya say we go at it like a couple of rabbits at the Quality Inn, my treat?" The cops should be there by then, but you haven't broken any major laws, so you should be back on the streets in time for the 2002 season.
3.
Call a local elementary school and ask if they are in the market for a summersault specialist. If they are confused, ask really sarcastically if they've ever heard of "a little class I call gym?" Then say what you really want to know is this: "I have this black lab puppy, okay? And he's really smart. Now, I know and you know that he can't talk. So that's one hurdle. That's a given. But I think this son-of-a-buck could be in the third grade. Let's try him in your third-grade class. Cursive is gonna be a bitch, but he really has spark. Recess won't be a problem. Finding his way home, again, no problem. Art, no problem. He's had more shots than a lot of those brats, so we're clear there. He sings, too. Makes stuff with hot caramel. Knows the Charleston. Do you know the Charleston?" You will get hung up on. From that moment on, until the opening day kickoff, try and play the air keyboards wherever you go, especially church. Really hammer them. Squint and snort. Start saying "Bango," at inappropriate moments, like the middle of a speech your daughter might be giving.
Posted by matt at 11:30 AM | TrackBack
September 02, 2004
Vive la France
Since, in the run-up to the election, we can expect a fresh bout of France-bashing from our GOP counterparts, it does our hearts good to see that the French don't think we're all jerks.
Posted by matt at 12:19 PM | TrackBack
September 01, 2004
Wonkette's Horn of Plenty
Holy jumping Jesus! Did Wonkette have a banner day yesterday, or what?
Not only did she link to a site which purportedly outs 2nd District Virginia Congressman, Ed Schrock, but she broke the story of Washingtonienne's Playboy spread! How is such a day even possible? How has Ana Marie Cox not erupted into a pure-energy supernova of white-hot bliss?
God damn, we love her.
An interesting sidenote: if you go to the old Washingtonienne site, it redirects you to MoveOn.org. Somebody probably wants to... put the MoveOn... her? Or something. Whatever.
Posted by matt at 10:33 AM | TrackBack
August 27, 2004
Do You Even Like Fun?
Brunching Shuttlecocks was a great site that had an amazing run during the late 90's. Edited and (largely) written by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg, Shuttlecocks' main attraction was the Ratings that assigned letter grades to everything from Crayola Crayons to Foreign Candy. Sjoberg is still doing his thing, on a different pace and at a new address (Book of Ratings). We were reminded of this classic rating of Coca-Cola slogans while staring at the sleek and altogether Terminator-ish C2 logo. Too bad the actual soft drink tastes like a mixture of Anacin, vodka, and Werther's candies.
Oh but we kid Coke.
Posted by matt at 11:00 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 02, 2004
Of All the No Good Dirty...
Man, those spammers are getting desperate. First, we got some junk e-mail with faked pseudo-topical subject lines, like this one:
michael moore shot
The body of this e-mail was, of course:
Increase your sperm count Increase the width of your penis Increase the length of your penis Increase testosterone levels Have harder,longer erectionsClick the link for more information
Okay, fine. That's all well and good. But what really frosts us are the jackasses who post comments to blogs like, say, greenideas, and put some bullshit porn page as their personal url. Come on, guys. That's just weak.
Posted by matt at 10:44 AM | TrackBack
June 21, 2004
Crazy Little Thing Called "The Internet"
In the interests of giving equal time for differing opinions on the comments pages, we feel obligated to call attention to a recent comment made on a post we did all the way back when greenideas was knee-high to a toadstool.
So kids, be careful what you say in comments--somebody's mom might be reading.
Posted by matt at 12:19 PM | TrackBack
May 04, 2004
Defamer is Live
Gawker Media has spawned another pit-stop for celebrity-obsessed voyeurs (you know, like us). Go check out Defamer. C'mon, you know you can never have enough Choire.
Make sure you scroll down to see the picture of Tina Fey from her UVA yearbook. It proves that every crazy-hot nerd girl has to start somewhere.
Posted by matt at 03:06 PM | TrackBack
NY Bloggers: So Best!
(Thanks to Gothamist and Bluejake for the pic, obvs)
Last night was the NY Bloggers event at the SoHo Apple Store, and it was a hoot and a half--possibly even two full hoots! But it wasn't just fun, it was edu-tastic! For those of you who couldn't make it, here are some lessons that we learned from the event:
1) Choire Sicha is afraid of pandas.
2) "Skullcuddling" is in no way an appropriate subject of discussion for a blog, even if you don't have German luxury automakers as sponsors (of course, we don't know any suckers out there in the blogosphere who aren't getting some money from BMW).
3) Lockhart Steele is cute as a button.
Seriously though, there were a lot of great insights at each of the evening's three segments. Gothamist has the skinny on who said what, and EverythingNY has the transcripts (Publishing, Technology, Editorial)
One of the more interesting things to us was seeing how a roomful of people who got dot-screwed when the dot-com bubble burst are still looking optimistically (but still very cautiously) ahead to the future of blogging. We also got a strong community feeling, since everyone who was there is working hard at trying to suss out all of the creative and commercial possibilities the medium.
We hope that everyone there left feeling as excited as we did about the future (and the present) of blogging (it's so bright, incidentally, that we must wear shades). Also, it was great to see our blogging heroes in the flesh, and we hope that next time we'll actually get to meet them. As it was we had to rush off to work right after the panels were over, so we couldn't go have all of the fun at Merc Bar. Next time, though. Next time...
Before we sign off, we want to thank Gothamist for putting it on. They're why we got into this whole blogging mess in the first place, and we're so very proud of all of the great work they're doing to make the whole blogosphere a better place. Huzzah!
Word.
P.S. In case you're curious, that's greenideas in the second row, third from the left.
Posted by matt at 09:15 AM | TrackBack
May 03, 2004
Worst Byline Ever
NEW YORK (AP) -- The hilarious acorn doesn't fall far from the hilarity tree
Good work, CNN. We hope the writer of this article didn't pull a muscle while reaching so hard for that metaphor. Truly, the purple prose acorn doesn't fall far from the purpality tree. Still, we're almost willing to overlook that misstep, since the article is accompanied by a photo of Tina Fey looking especially busty (but also with oddly mannish shoulders... hrm).
Posted by matt at 12:20 PM | TrackBack
NY Bloggers Tonight
For those of you here in NYC, don't forget that tonight is Gothamist's NY Bloggers Forum. It's at the SoHo Apple Store at 6 PM.
Now that we see that it's early enough for us to go before work, we're so there! What about you?
Also, on a completely unrelated note, make sure you check out WNYC's new mp3 stream. It beats the stinky pants off RealPlayer.
Posted by matt at 09:41 AM | TrackBack
April 29, 2004
MoJo Hates Blogging
A writer for Mother Jones actually had the nerve to say that bloggers are shut-ins who are out of touch with the real, non-blogging world. We've actually written a scathing letter in response, and we're going to go outside and mail it right after we check push fluids... and we haven't looked at Low Culture yet today. What were we talking about? Is it lunchtime yet?